You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
