I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
