the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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