Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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