No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
