dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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