4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
