this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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