i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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