i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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