Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
