I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He has the fingertips of a God
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