hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
