Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
