Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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