two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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