Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
