I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
