sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
