the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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