He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
