You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
