just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
