he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
