By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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