Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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