I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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