hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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