I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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