You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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