I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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