can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize