yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
