Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
