i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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