Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
