Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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