why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
