Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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