i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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