I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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