Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
