I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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