I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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