why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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