Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
