You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So much Jack, so little girl.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
