STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
