i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
