Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need moral support for this bender
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
