...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We're facebook friends in real life
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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