Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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