D3 body, D1 cock
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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