I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
