Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
