I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
