I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Randomize
