Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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