They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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