Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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