I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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