stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
