you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His hands were made for my vagina.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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