i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
These tits shall not be calmed
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
